Thursday, 26 February 2015

The Placebo Effect

Meanwhile... in a large tent in the Bible Belt of the American south...


You say you are blind, brother?

Yes sir, Since I was a baby

Let me lay my hands on you brother

Oh praise be!

I place my hands on you and I say... "Leave this man's body infirmity! Leave it sickness! By the power invested in these hands I say... Heal! Heal!

I can... I can see! I can see!

Tell them brother! Testify! 

I can see! Oh praise the Lord!

Yes! Oh praise... what did you say?

The Lord Jesus Christ! Praise Him I can see!

Praise Jesus? What? Er... Oh I see the mistake now brother. You're in the control group.

The... the control group?

Yeah this is the placebo.

The placebo? But my faith has healed my blindness!

Yep. That's the placebo alright. Hmmm this is going to skew our findings.

But... but if you're a faith healer and faith has cured my blindness, how can it be a placebo?

Why I'm an atheist

You mean I put my faith in a faith healer with no faith? My God!

Yes He is.

Having my sight restored for all the wrong reasons has shaken my faith

Well, as it says in the good book...

Hey! You can't quote the Bible at me

No I mean The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

Oh I heard that it is a good book

Yes it is a good book. But anyway... you still believe

I'm not sure I do

Ah now that may have ramifications for the efficacy of the cure. 

My sight is fading! The darkness is coming!

Ah now I was worried that might happen. Well I think we'd better double the strength of the placebo. Oh mighty Lord Jeeessusss.... Come and heal the eyes of this begotten son. I command thee to heal him and do some other stuff I can't think of right now...





By Phil Whelans and Richard Glover,  also known as "The Pros from Dover."  (Radio 4, June 2010)














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