The Importance of Love in Buddhism

The Importance of Love in Buddhism

According to one Christian Apologist… "In Buddhism, strictly speaking, "love" is considered a negative emotion to be overcome along with all other emotions. Love of God and others is absolutely essential in the Christian perspective and motivates different actions" 

The background to this is an assumption that the central messages of Christianity - to love one's enemy; and so on, are unique to Christianity. This is factually incorrect as those messages were recorded centuries before they were attributed to Jesus, in multiple locations. To quote Buddha… “Hatred will not cease by hatred, but by love alone. This is the ancient law.” 

Comparisons of messages from Buddha vs messages from Jesus are below, plus an explanation of what Buddhists believe with regards to Love, perhaps best summarise by this quotation from Gil Fronsdal … "Buddhism, often known as a Path of Freedom, could equally be called a religion of love. Perhaps this is what he had in mind when the Dalai Lama said his religion is kindness. For the Buddha, love is one of the paths to full spiritual liberation."

The Parallel Sayings of Buddha and Jesus

Buddha	Jesus	Reference
Man does not purify himself by washing as most people do in this world. Anyone who rejects any sin, larger and small, is a holy man because he rejects sins.	Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught. But those things which proceed out of the mouth came forth from the heart; and they defile the man.	Ud 33:13
Evil is done through the self; man defiles himself through the self. Evil is made good through the self; man purifies himself through the self	For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man; but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man	Dh 12:9
Happily shall I live without possessions among those who possess much; among possessors live without possessions. Happily shall I live without struggling anxiously among the strivers live without striving	How fortunate are the poor; they have God's kingdom. How fortunate the hungry; they will be fed. How fortunate are those who are crying; they will laugh	GDh 167
O let us live in joy, free of hatred, among the spiteful; among the spiteful let us live without hatred. O let us live in joy, free of suffering, among those who suffer; among those who are sore troubled let us live without suffering. O let us live in joy, free of avarice, among those filled with greed; among those who are avaricious let us live without greed. O let us live in joy, we who are free of hindrances. Let us be like the 'Radiant Ones' who are nurtured with love. Whoever counters the malicious with malice can never be pure, but he who feels no maliciousness pacifies those who hate. Hate brings misery to humanity so the wise man knows no hatred	I am telling you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on the cheek, offer your other cheek as well. If anyone grabs your coat, let him have your shirt as well Give to anyone who asks, and if someone takes away your belongings, do not ask to have them back. As you want people to treat you, do the same to them.	Dh 15:1-4 and Ud 14:12
Hostility is never conquered by hostility in this world; hostility is conquered by love. That is the Eternal Law. Surmount hatred by not hating, surmount evil with good; surmount greed through generosity, surmount lies with truth; speak what is true, do not succumb to anger, give when you are asked. Through those three steps you will come close to the gods. Whosoever does no harm to living creatures, whosoever does not kill or participate in killing, is to be called a holy man. Whosoever is tolerant with the intolerant, whosoever patiently tolerates punishment, and whosoever shows compassion to all creatures, is to be called a holy man.	If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even tax collectors love those who love them, do they not? And if you embrace only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Doesn't everybody do that? If you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even wrongdoers lend to their kind because they expect to be repaid. Instead, love your enemies, do good, and lend without expecting anything in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of God. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good; he sends rain on the just and on the unjust	Dh 1:5 GDh 280-281 Ud 33:45-46
Judge not the mistakes of others, neither what they do or leave undone, but judge your own deeds, that just and the unjust.	Don't judge and you won't be judged. For the standard you use (in judging) will be the standard used against you	GDh 271-272
The faults of others are more easily seen than one's own, but seeing one's own failings is difficult. The failings of others are winnowed like chaff in the wind, but one conceals one's own faults like a cheating gambler. Such a man is far from seeing what is right, and very much worsens his unfortunate lot	How can you look for the splinter in your brother's eye and not notice the stick in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the splinter in your eye', when you do not see the stick in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the stick from your own eye, and then you can see to remove the splinter that is in your brother's eye	Dh 18:18 Ud 27:1

GDh = Gandhari Dharmaphada

Ud = Udanavarga

Dh = Dhammapada

Further information:

The Original Jesus: The Buddhist Sources of Christianity by Elmar R. Gruber & Holger Kersten

Jesus Buddha Krishna Lao Tzu: The Parallel Sayings by Richard Hooper

What Buddhists Believe

By the Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera

Born Martin Gamage in the village of Kirinde in Matara, Sri Lanka, Dhammananda spent most of his life and career in Malaysia. He was ordained as a novice monk (samanera) at the age of 12 and was fully ordained in 1940. After arriving in Malaysia—then known as Malaya—in 1952, Dhammananda established himself as the foremost Theravada Buddhist monk in Malaysia and Singapore. His many books are widely read, and contributed greatly to introducing Buddhism to many English-speakers in Southeast Asia and beyond.

Loving-Kindness

What is lacking in the world today is loving-kindness or goodwill. In the world today, there is sufficient material wealth. There are very advanced intellectuals, brilliant writers, talented speaker, philosophers, psychologists, scientists, religious advisors, wonderful poets and powerful world leaders. In spite of these intellectuals, there is no real peace and security in the world today. Something must be lacking. What is lacking is loving-kindness or goodwill amongst mankind.

Material gain in itself can never bring lasting happiness and peace. Peace must first be established in man's own heart before he can bring peace to others and to the world at large. The real way to achieve peace is to follow the advice given by religious teachers.

In order to practise loving-kindness, one must first practise the Noble Principle of non-violence and must always be ready to overcome selfishness and to show the correct path to others. The fighting is not to be done with the physical body, because the wickedness of man is not in his body but in his mind. Non-violence is a more effective weapon to fight against evil than retaliation. The very nature of retaliation is to increase wickedness.

In order to practise loving-kindness, one must also be free from selfishness. Much of the love in this world of self-centered, only a love of one is own self: 'Not out of love for the husband loved; but the husband is loved for love of self. Children are loved by the parents, not out of love for the children, but for love of self. The gods are loved, not out of love for the gods, but for love for self. Not out of love is anybody loved, but for love of self are loved.'

Man should learn how to practise selfless love to maintain real peace and his own salvation. Just as suicide kills physically, selfishness kills spiritual progress. Loving-kindness in Buddhism is neither emotional or selfish. It is loving-kindness that radiates through the purified mind after eradicating hatred, jealousy, cruelty, enmity and grudges. According to the Buddha, Metta _ Loving-kindness is the most effective method to maintain purity of mind and to purify the mentally polluted atmosphere.

The word 'love' is used to cover a very wide range of emotions human beings experience. Emphasis on the base animal lust of one sex for another has much debased the concept of a feeling of amity towards another being. According to Buddhism, there are many types of emotions, all of which come under the general term 'love' First of all, there is selfish love and there is selfless love. One has selfish love when one is concerned only with the satisfaction to be derived for oneself without any consideration for the partner's needs or feelings. Jealousy is usually a symptom of selfish love. Selfless love, on the other hand, is felt when one person surrenders his whole being for the good of another _parents feel such love for their children. Usually human beings feel a mixture of both selfless and selfish love in their relationships with each other. For example, while parents make enormous sacrifices for their children, they usually expect something in return.

Another kind of love, but closely related to the above, is brotherly love or the love between friends. In a sense, this kind of love can also be considered selfish because the love is limited to particular people and does not encompass others. In another category we have sexual love, where partners are drawn towards each other through physical attraction. It is the kind that is most exploited by modern entertainment and it can cover anything from uncomplicated teenage infatuations to the most complex of relationships between adults.

On a scale far higher than these, is Universal Love or Metta. This all-embracing love is the great virtue expressed by the Buddha. Lord Buddha, for example, renounce His kingdom, family and pleasures so that He could strive to find a way to release mankind from an existence of suffering. In order to gain His Enlightenment, he had to struggle for many countless lives. A lesser being would have been disheartened, but not the Buddha-elect. It is for this He is called 'The Compassionate One'. The Buddha's boundless love extended not only to human beings but all living creatures. It was not emotional or selfish, but a love without frontiers, without discrimination. Unlike the other kinds of love, Universal love can never end in disappointment or frustration because it expects no reward. It creates more happiness and satisfaction. One who cultivates universal love will also cultivate sympathetic joy and equanimity and he will then have attained to the sublime state.

'Love is an active force. Every act of the loving one is done with the stainless mind to help, to succor, to cheer, to make the paths of others easier, smoother and more adapted to the conquest of sorrow, the winning of the highest bliss.

'The way to develop love is through thinking out the evils of hate, and the advantages of non-hate; through thinking out according to actuality, according to karma, that really there is none to hate, that hate is a foolish way of feeling which breeds more and more darkness, that obstructs right understanding. Hate restricts; love release. Hatred strangles; love enfranchises. Hatred brings remorse; love brings peace. Hatred agitates; love quietens, stills, calms. Hatred divides; love unites. Hatred hardens; love softens. Hatred hinders; love helps. And thus through a correct study and appreciation of the effects of hatred and the benefits of love, should one develop love.'

In Metta Sutta, the Buddha has expounded the nature of love in Buddhism. 'Just as a mother would protect her only child even at the risk of her own life, even so, let him cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings. Let his thoughts of boundless love pervade the whole world, above, below and across without any obstruction, without any hatred, without any enmity.'

“Hatred will not cease by hatred, but by love alone. This is the ancient law.” 

The Buddha’s Teachings on Love by Gil Fronsdal

http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/articles/the-buddhas-teachings-on-love/

Gil Fronsdal (1954) is a practicing Buddhist of the Soto Zen and Vipassana sect since 1975, and is currently teaching the practice of Buddhism in the San Francisco Bay Area. Having being taught by the Vipassana practitioner, Jack Kornfield he is part of the Vipassana teachers' collective at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He was ordained as a Soto Zen priest at the San Francisco Zen Center in 1982 and was a Theravada monk in Burma in 1985. In 1995 he received Dharma transmission from Mel Weitsman, the abbot of the Berkeley Zen Center. He is the guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Center (IMC) of Redwood City, California. He has a PhD in Buddhist Studies from Stanford University. His many dharma talks available online contain basic information on meditation and Buddhism, as well as subtle concepts of Buddhism explained at the level of the lay person.

Just as blood nourishes the heart which keeps it flowing, so love nourishes spiritual freedom and is, in turn, kept flowing by it. The connection is so strong that Buddhism, often known as a Path of Freedom, could equally be called a religion of love. Perhaps this is what he had in mind when the Dalai Lama said his religion is kindness. For the Buddha, love is one of the paths to full spiritual liberation.

If we call Buddhism a religion of love we need to be clear what we mean by love, or more precisely, what forms of love we are including. Because freedom is the guide, the measure, and the ultimate goal of all things Buddhist, Buddhist love includes those forms of love that are characterized by freedom. Love that involves clinging, lust, confusion, neediness, fear, or grasping to self would, in Buddhist terms, be seen as expressions of bondage and limitation.

Lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and a particular form of equanimity are the four kinds of love taught and encouraged in classic Buddhist teachings. None of these are uniquely Buddhist; they are four qualities of heart that reside within everyone, at least as potentials. Teachings about the four forms of love existed in India prior to the Buddha – they were elements common to the Indian spiritual world which he included within his system of practice. While Buddhism cannot exist without love, it may be helpful to realize that love can exist happily apart from Buddhism. Learning the ways of these four loves does not require one to become a Buddhist. It only requires a willingness to develop innate capacities.

Love does not need to be left to chance. It mustn’t be a matter of “falling in love,” nor must it be accepted in whatever degree or frequency it happens to appear. The Buddhist tradition has developed a range of practices and reflections designed to develop our capacity to love. As with a treasure behind a locked door, we can find the key that allows us to open the door of love; like a muscle, love can be strengthened through practice.

In their most developed forms, the four types of love can each become a boundless radiance glowing from us. As such, love may flow from us equally toward all beings or it can glow freely without needing to be directed to anyone. When boundless, love without any particular object is recognized in Buddhism as a form of liberation.

To be “free” only when things are pleasant is not real liberation. Similarly, to love only in optimal conditions is not real love. Not a few Buddhist meditators have experienced great love while in meditation, only to have it disappear quickly outside of meditation. It can be easy to love all beings in the abstract, but it can be a great challenge to do so when we have to live with them. It is one thing to love and another to express that love in daily life.

One of the most rewarding spiritual practices is to cultivate the ability to bring love into all aspects of our life and to all people we encounter. This entails learning how to include love’s presence while we speak to others, are in conflict with others, and are living with others. While this can be a daunting task, it begins with having the intention to do so. And it is supported by appreciating each manifestation of love that we encounter. Even practicing loving-kindness for the time it takes to snap the fingers is beneficial. Each drop of practice is significant and, as the Buddha said, “with dripping drops of water, the water jug is filled.”