Not God's Type

 Observations on the book by Holly Ordway 

"A Rational Academic Finds a Radical Faith" 

Background
This book was introduced to me by a Creationist who said he was …"combating the idea that evidence for God doesn't exist. It does and it's plentiful. The many atheists / non-believers who have come to faith in God based on evidence testify to this fact."

The implication is that Ordway's book will describe what this plentiful evidence for God is. However, when one reads the book it appears Ordway's spiritual journey was based on emotion and intution. Nothing wrong with that of course. But evidence for God? No.

The Creationist also seems to be arguing that the existence of "many atheists" who have converted to Christianity is somehow relevant to the argument that there is evidence for God. Obviously, the same argument could be made about Christians who've become atheists demonstrating there is evidence that there is no God. Either way, it's not a valid argument. Anyway… on to the book:

About the Book
Ordway's description of herself as a "rational academic" is a bit of a stretch, as we will see later (and to be fair it was probably a label assigned by a publisher rather than herself). Her story is rather old fashioned - portraying life without God as, empty, lonely, dark, despairing, meaningless and without a moral compass. Whereas life with Jesus meant peace, contentment, freedom, and light.  In the old days, those were the only two options.  

Ordway describes herself being in the former and converting to the latter, following a conversion process based on befriending. This is an effective strategy for evangelists - identifying the needs of the non-believer and then witness to them. This is explained here. 

I get the impression Ordway is not an Evangelical although she doesn't spell this out, she names her chosen church which is high Anglican and orthodox. 

A common theme throughout the book is how Ordway succumbs to peer pressure for her beliefs, both before and during her conversion. She seems credulous and gullible. More on this later.

It's also apparent that she accepts the standard Christian Apologetic arguments that are presented to her without bothering with any research into the counter-arguments. If she can't refute an argument herself, or if it appeals to her intuitively, then she accepts it. Rational Academic? Really?  

The arguments presented to her are all standard arguments, none of them airtight, and all refuted by scholars and philosophers over hundreds of years. Her lack of knowledge of any counter-arguments is remarkable for someone portrayed here as a one time hard-nosed atheist.  She is presented with one side of the argument, and accepts it. 

The truth is that her spiritual journey is emotional. She was in a bad place, depressed, with no meaning in her life and unfulfilled needs. Then she is befriended, shown kindness, given explanations to meet her existential needs,  and given hope and meaning. The important thing is that she now feels she is a better, happier person because of her new found faith and career as a professional Apologist. 

As an aside, let no one who is reading this think that I am knocking religion. Ordway's story is a very good case study of how religion can meet people's needs and bring happiness and contentment (and has done for centuries). 

Who is this book aimed at? Well, it's not going to convince anyone who is familiar with the philosophical counter-arguments to the stuff that persuaded Ordway. But it will provide a sense of validation to existing Christians, especially Evangelicals who love any account of an atheist becoming religious. 

Here are observations on each chapter. Note that I haven’t included the “Interludes” which Ordway provides between some chapters. I will include those in an update to this article. 

Introduction Soon after arriving in San Diego in 2005, Holly Ordway meets Josh Runyan: ex-marine, ex-fighter pilot, commercial airline pilot and also her fencing coach. As it turns out, he has studied Christian Apologetics since high school and has always been a fan of CS Lewis. Within a few months of meeting Josh, Ordway has become a committed Christian and within a few years has become a professional Christian Apologist, with Josh gaining a post-graduate degree in Apologetics too. Ordway's book picks up the story in 2005…

Chapter 1 - Beginnings
In this introduction, Ordway describes herself as "a nice person, even a good person". In the next chapter we discover she is not very nice at all.   Finding God later made her realise that she was actually a sinner. I'm surprised she needed to find God to work that out, but anyway… 

Chapter 2 - Faithless
Ordway explains that in first grade, she didn't know that God was spelled with a capital "G" but the other kids did. She says… "I knew about Greek and Norse Gods so the capital G puzzled me." Really? Age 6? Anyway, it would be interesting to know why all the other 6 year olds knew about God with a big G and she didn't. She tells us nothing about her parents, sadly. 

She then says her "College science classes presented Christians as illiterate anti-intellectuals who threatened the advancement of knowledge by not embracing Darwinism." Good grief - what kind of science class was this? And what kind of teacher? The important point is that Ordway is told something by someone in authority, and it becomes her opinion. She portrays herself as easily led, and this theme occurs throughout the book.

If her science teacher wasn't bad enough, she says her English classes taught her that Chaucer was an atheist! She seems to have been surrounded by teachers who were idiots, and she seems to have believed everything she was told.  

She explains that by the age of thirty-one she was an atheist college professor and she says "it was fun to consider myself superior to the unenlightened, superstitious masses, and to make snide comments about Christians." 

I'm afraid I have to differ with her assessment of herself at this time as a "nice person, even a good person." That doesn't sound nice to me!

Chapter 3 - Alone in the Fortress of Atheism
She begins by explaining that in her opinion, she was the product of "blind chance over millions of years."  I really hope her science teacher was sacked for teaching this, especially combined with the statements in the previous chapter. Ordway seems to be providing the "blind chance" straw man of evolution that is put forward by Creationists who use it to try to discredit natural selection. I do wonder if some of Ordway's "memories" have been created in retrospect, following her exposure to Apologist books. Anyway, if she really was taught that then we have yet another example of Ordway blindly believing what she was told. 

Then we discover that she has some serious anger management issues. She explains that she felt her life had no meaning. She says fencing was a "saving grace" but at one point she actually broke her foil on an opponent's helmet out of pure anger. 

Everyone has an emotional need for having some meaning to life, and she explains that she met this need by fencing, being a teacher, saving and investing money (she doesn't mention her prolific DVD and TV online reviews which started in 2001, or her moneysaver website and her feature on CNN). 

I think it's a shame that she does not mention her husband at this point (Noel Llopis - computer game design expert, and also a fencer.) Why has he been airbrushed out of the story? Did he not give her life some meaning? He doesn't even get a mention on the acknowledgements page. She does say that without God, "any two souls who try to cling to each other for all their meaning will drown just the same." Is that a reference to her marriage? Was Noel an atheist or religious? Was he supportive? Ordway describes herself as a "single woman" in 2010, when her book was published. I wonder why they divorced during her conversion process? Poor Noel has been made insignificant in this story, which is odd. 

And again she provides more information which counters any previous claim to being a "nice person" - she says she was prone to vindictive and intense anger, 9/11 left her emotionless, and so on. 

Chapter 4 - Groundbreaking
Ordway is now in California (with her husband Noel although she again fails to mention him) and she's teaching English literature. Worryingly, considering she's teaching literature, she implies Keats was a Christian poet. She also describes the work of Gerard Manley Hopkins (a poet who converted to become a Jesuit and promptly set fire to all his poems). She specifically refers to his poem Carrion Comfort - in which Hopkins describes a period of despair in his life which he identifies as persecution by God. 

This chapter is an interesting case study on how literature and poetry can be inspirational, regardless of what the authors might actually be saying. And of course, that applies to the Bible.

Chapter 5 - Wordless Witness
In this chapter, Ordway meets Josh Runyan, a fencing champion and coach, ex-marine, ex-fighter pilot and commercial airline pilot. And she meets his wife Heidi, also a fencing coach. But what Ordway didn't realise at this point was that Josh and Heidi were Christians. (She also seems unaware that the entire fencing team is Christian as we shall see later).  

Ordway seems surprised that nice people could also be Christian. Interestingly she describes Josh's caring, honest, compassionate and respectful attitude as "preaching the Gospel by living it". Hey - that sounds just like me! I like that phrase.

Chapter 6 - Perfect Justice or Perfect Mercy
After a disastrous fencing competition, Ordway finds herself having dinner with Josh and Heidi and it is during this meal that Ordway discovers her fencing mentors are Christians (or so we are led to believe). Ordway happens to mention CS Lewis and guess what - Josh is not just any old Christian - he is a committed Religious Apologist and he's also a huge fan of CS Lewis, ever since he read him at high school. 

Over dinner (presumably) he presents Ordway with three of the classic Apologist arguments - the First Cause Argument; the Argument from Morality and the Perfect Justice/Mercy argument. Amazingly, Ordway has never heard these arguments before and significantly, she's never heard the philosophical counter-arguments. The arguments resonate with her intuition, and she's hooked. Josh is now her gateway to The Truth. And once again, Ordway's credulity stands out like a sore thumb.

(Note is the number 1 rule of successful evangelising - befriending.  Remember that advice if you're an Evangelist - being rude to non-believers doesn't work!  For some handy tips on how to be an evangelist click here)

Chapter 7 - Dante and Virgil
Josh's next move is to present Ordway with two classic Apologist text books: "Does God Exist" (by professional apologists such as Moreland, Kreeft and Craig) and "Making Sense of the New Testament" by Craig Blomberg who argues that the Gospels are historically accurate. 

Again, it doesn't seem to occur to Ordway that she could seek out other explanations to the stuff in these books, and instead turns to her Apologist befriender (Josh) to answer her questions. And guess what - his views coincide exactly with the arguments made in the books (that he provided). 

Once again -  it really does seem extraordinary that Ordway just accepts these arguments with no critical push-back or research of her own. But actually that's not extraordinary once we realise her emotional needs at this time… she needs meaning in her life, she needs to be cared for and happy and made to feel safe (and so do we all), she needs coaching, but most of all she needs answers - and Josh is providing the whole package. If she was to challenge him, and his impressive looking text books, she'd be challenging a major opportunity to be happy. 

Chapter 8 - A Rational Faith
Here we see Ordway swallowing arguments from Peter Kreeft - again without exploring the counter-arguments. She completely falls for the circular "God is as real as 2+3=5" argument and intuitively accepts the "Argument from Consciousness"; "Cosmological Argument" and "First Cause Argument". 

She describes herself here as a "philosophy student" but nothing could be further from the truth - the only philosophy she is studying is that of Christian Apologists, drip-fed via Josh. She seems blissfully unaware of the long list of philosophers who have countered these arguments over hundreds of years. But of course - she doesn't want to be aware of anything that could risk her new found emotional happiness. And who can blame her?

Chapter 9 - Searching for the Source
Ordway is now convinced that everything Josh has provided represents The Truth. She is convinced there is a Creator who is the source of morality, and she can see no flaws in the argument, even though the flaws are well known to anyone with even a passing interest in philosophy. 

It is astonishing (if we assume she is behaving rationally) that she has been unaware of the counter-arguments all her life and at this point doesn't bother to research them. But of course she's not behaving rationally. Her emotions and intuition are in charge. She describes this intuitive acceptance of the arguments as "logic and reason". But it's no such thing - it's intuition based on incomplete information. It's faith.

Chapter 10 - Not a Tame Lion
This chapter contains the highlight of the book for me - Ordway decides to use the scientific method to determine the existence of God. 

She will form a hypothesis which makes predictions and she will test those predictions. If the hypothesis passes the test it will become her established theory, otherwise the hypothesis will be disproved and there is no God. 

(To be fair to Josh, he does warn her that her experiment is not scientific because the data is based on emotions, but that doesn't stop her! Interesting that he seems to understand the scientific method better than she does.) 

So… what would be the predictions of the hypothesis that Christianity is true? Josh and Ordway agree that the hypothesis should predict an awareness of God (via the Holy Spirit), or as they put it, an "I get it" moment. But if the result of the test was a feeling of increased confusion, then the hypothesis has failed the test and Christianity is not true. (Am I the only one to see the flaw in this?) 

Anyway… we will return to the experiment later. 

Chapter 11 - What if it's Real?
Ordway starts to appreciate life, especially sunlight, the sea and coffee, and feeling "in the moment." 

Reading this, I feel simultaneously happy and sad for her. Sad because she's lived the first 30 years of her life apparently oblivious to the beauty of the world around her and the joy of simple pleasures. But I'm also happy because she's happy now. She had needs, and the concept of God has fulfilled them.  And the cherry on the cake is how Josh uses the words of CS Lewis to confirm that this new found happiness is indeed evidence for God.

Chapter 12 - Results
Ordway suddenly realises that the experiment she devised in Chapter 10 has started subconsciously. She has an emotional experience on the Coast Highway which she attributes to the Holy Spirit. She believes her hypothesis has been confirmed because the predictions that it made have been validated. The scientific method - much derided by Religious Apologists due to its "limited purview" - has demonstrated that God is real and Christianity is True! Take that Dawkins! Eat humble pie Hawking!

Chapter 13 - Between Two Worlds
It's Easter. Ordway write an email to Josh explaining that her heart has outpaced her head. (True!)

Chapter 14 - Easter Season
Ordway confirms that she definitely believes in God and that He must be infinitely more good than she is. He made a perfect world, and human beings messed it up. Faith is no longer alien to her, she concludes. 

Chapter 15 - One Miracle
Josh provides another famous Apologist text book - "In Defense of Miracles". Again she reads this with no apparent challenge or research. She also fails to notice that the book has no contributions from historians or any application of historical method or scientific evidence. 

She's convinced the authors of the book are "top notch scholars" but she fails to notice that the book has no detail of any so-called miracles since the resurrection. (It's a terrible book).

She then goes on to assert that it's impossible to account for the origin of the universe, the human mind or morality.  So - she's totally unaware that such things are not impossible. 

She says she'd ignored these questions in the past. Perhaps if she hadn't ignored those questions she would have been a happier person and less vulnerable to evangelists! Anyway, despite having told us that Christianity is definitely True, she now expresses doubts about the truth of the resurrection. Come on Josh where are you…?!

Chapter 16 - Who is this Jesus?
Josh provides another two books from his Apologetics library: "The Risen Jesus and Future Hope" and NT Wright's massive tome "The Resurrection of the Son of God." 

Yet again, Ordway accepts these as being true without any research. She convinces herself that the resurrection was a real, objective historical event, and therefore the narratives in the Gospels are "evidence". So once she had assumed the historicity of the resurrection everything "fell into place" for her. 

If she had read the works of other scholars or Jewish theologians, she would have found very different interpretations of the resurrection. This chapter, more than any other, demolishes her portrayal of herself as a hard-nosed, rational searcher for truth. She has followed a very narrow path without any of the intellectual rigour she claims.

Chapter 17 - Moving Toward Commitment
Ordway confronts the implications of the Resurrection, and expresses fear, but Josh has an airline analogy about stepping on a plane if you are afraid of flying.  Or something like that.

Chapter 18 - Buying the Ticket
Ordway expands on the airline analogy. She is thinking about the irrevocable step of getting on to the plane. The real decision point she says, was buying the ticket. Despite her utter conviction that Jesus was the Son of God, something was holding her back. 

That night she has a dream that she is in Jerusalem with Josh looking at Jesus' tomb, and she wakes up even more convinced that Jesus rose form the dead. She considers the empty tomb in her dream to be evidence of Jesus's divinity. 

Chapter 19 - Getting on Board
The airline analogy continues. While attending a fencing competition with Josh in Las Vegas, she makes it clear to him that she is committing herself to Christianity (I thought she'd made that pretty clear already but never mind). 

Josh is excited and asks if he can "tell everyone". We now get to one of the weirdest scenes in the book. Josh tells the fencing team and its supporters of Ordway's conversion, and the group hug her and say "Welcome to the Family!" 

What the heck is happening here? Did Ordway know she had signed up with a Christian fencing team? The coaches, teammates and friends all one big Christian fellowship? Nothing wrong with that of course - but why didn't she know? 

Later the team go out for a meal together and Josh says that "since we are all Christians here, we are going to pray." And he says a blessing over the food. This is getting weirder. Has Ordway never been out for a meal with these people before? Has Josh deliberately refrained from praying before a meal previously just because Ordway had not confessed her faith? 

Chapter 20 - The First Day
Worryingly, Ordway's anger management issues resurface during a fencing match, when she screams obscenities after under-performing.  She explains how Josh provides her with practical guidance on how to manage emotions and be a good sport. I have to wonder why he hasn't done that before. That's one of the basic functions of a coach, in my experience anyway. 

Chapter 21 - Home
Josh explains that the next step for Ordway is to go to church and be baptised. She decides to read the Bible, but gets confused by "all the shipwrecks, and speeches and travels hither and yon" and also Paul's letters. 

This is quite extraordinary given that she describes herself as a Professor of Literature!  It's her job to read, understand, critique and dissect literature and poetry!  And it's also quite amazing that during her so-called rational process of conversion, she hasn't read the Bible. 

Anyway, she finds a church (Anglican Communion, interestingly) and the Christian fencing team turn up for her baptism. Josh prepares her for the baptism with some praying, next to the rosebushes. And Ordway is then baptised in the High Anglican manner, followed by communion.

Chapter 22 - Onward
Ordway visits Durham Cathedral in England (a place very dear to my heart as it happens). She's writing her book during this time, her faith has deepened, her needs are fulfilled and she is praying a lot.  It's a cute postscript; she is at peace and medieval England appears to be a sort of spiritual home where she can directly connect with over 1,000 years of history.  And she's divorced. 

Shortly after that, she is working as a professional Apologist in Texas. And seemingly very happy, which is a good thing.